The Journal of the Signless
by ugh
Summary: What if The Signless kept a journal and left it for Karkat to find? Well, a certain teal-blood found it first... (i also posted this on AO3 see my profile for details i guess)


_I forgot how long it's been._

_A month? A sweep?_

_Why can't I remember?_

_I guess I'll start at the beginning, where my visions started. Or a proper introduction._

_I am the Signless. The Sufferer, some already say. I don't know why people gave me such a ridiculous premise that I am some sort of special troll. Nevertheless, I can't help but feel this is more than just bloodlines that they want to control._

The Disciple looks over my shoulder with intent. She insists that I record my thoughts into this bound journal for safekeeping. She says that I mustn't forget where I am going, what I am doing. I disagree. I know my mission. I dream of my visions every time I blink. It's overwhelming how much new information I see every millisecond I close my eyes.

I keep writing, hoping that this will pacify her urging me to write.

_I see my visions when I dream. I dream when I sleep. I sleep when I blink. I have no time for normal resting times. I have to keep moving. My entire group's survival depends on a collaborative effort and the goodwill of other trolls. We have been betrayed in the past, but others have welcomed us warmly. All four of us have learned the difference between weakness and the strong-willed in our fellow brethren. The strong stand up to the Highbloods, while the weak submit to them. In the end, both sides end up dying. These unfortunate series of events do not quell my mission, however, but solidifies my resolve all the more…_

"Disciple, I cannot concentrate with you stroking my leg," I warn.

"I have a name," she mumbles. She continues to stroke my limb. I sighed, stroking her hair. She snuggled against my leg, inching close to my lap.

"Meulin," I say. "Please let me continue with my documentation. I can barely remember how to script, much less write down my visions fast enough."

She clearly had not heard a word I said. She was too happy in her own little dream world now. Amazing how fast she fell asleep. I took off my cloak and draped it over her sleeping body. She hardly flinched. I let my mouth creep upwards at the corners, a rare sight, according to my guardian, who was out gathering supplies with the Psiioniic.

I gazed up at the gray sky and watched the clouds for a brief moment before continuing my thoughts.

_I wonder why I have these visions. Why I was chosen. Or if I even was chosen. I have no beliefs in what the Highbloods have forced upon us. But maybe I was chosen. By fate, destiny, or whatever my fellow Lowbloods have started to believe. Maybe they have started to believe in me. Who knows?_

_Whatever the case may be, all I know are my visions. Whether they are believed or not doesn't matter. As long as they bring change to our race, I will be satisfied._

===Be Karkat

I can't fucking believe this. Terezi has taken my shit for the last time. How does she even get to my hive anyway? I am going to pester her until she gives back my stuff.

CG: TEREZI, WHERE IS MY BOX?

GC: 1 H4V3 NO 1D34 WH4T YOUR3 T4LK1NG 4BOUT

CG: YOU KNOW FULL WELL WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT.

GC: OF COURS3 1 DONT. K4RK4T, WHY DO YOU 4LW4YS 4SSUM3 1 4M TH3 ON3 R3SPONS1BL3 WH3N YOUR TH1NGS GO M1SS1NG?

GC: 1 N3V3R ST34L. 1 WOULD H4NG F1RST.

By the tone of her text, I can tell she's licking the thing that she took.

CG: STOP LICKING IT, OR ELSE.

GC: OR 3LS3 WH4T?

GC: H3H3

Or else what? Or else _what_?

CG: I'LL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR STUPID RED FETISH.

No response.

CG: HELLO? STILL THERE?

GC: SORRY 1 W4S L4UGH1NG SO H4RD TH4T 1 F3LL 4ND LOST MY SC4L3M4T3.

GC: 3V3RYON3 4LR34DY KNOWS 4BOUT MY R3D F3T1SH.

GC: YOU 4R3 SO W31RD SOM3T1M3S.

Cue me facepalming at her ridiculous comments.

CG: LOOK, I JUST WANT IT BACK, OKAY? YOU CAN HAVE IT FOREVER WHEN I'M DONE.

Which will be never, if I'm lucky.

GC: 4W SO SW33T OF YOU TO OFF3R.

GC: BUT 1 KNOW YOU SO W3LL, 1 THOUGHT YOU WOULD S4Y TH4T

CG: THE FUCK?

GC: YOUR3 ON TH3 R1GHT TR4CK, 1F YOU G3T MY M34N1NG

Wait. Is she actually considering…? My face simultaneously drained of its abominable color and got very hot at the same time.

CG: NO. I REFUSE.

CG: I DON'T WANT THAT DEAL.

CG: WE ARE TOO YOUNG AND I DO NOT FEEL THE NEED TO FILL BUCKETS WITH YOU ON A WHIM.

No response again. What is she waiting for?

GC: OH MY GOG 1 C4NT B3L13V3 YOU 4CTU4LLY B3L13V3D M3!

GC: YOU 4R3 TOO MUCH, K4RKL3S!

Cue me facepalming again. I banged my head on my desk, shaking all thoughts of filling buckets with Terezi out of my thinkpan.

"Ow," I muttered.

I lean back in my chair and feel a cold pack on my forehead, instinctively put my hand up to it, supporting it to where my head hit the desk. My eyes widened. I whipped around, still holding the cold pack.

"_SKREE!_" my guardian shrieked as he ran out of my room. He scares the shit out of me sometimes. He sometimes does the caring bullshit when I'm not looking, and then runs off when I notice. I bet nobody else's lusus gives them this much trouble.

===Be Sollux

Hell no. I hate inner dialogue.

I'd rather be shopping for flyswatters. Or phonebooks. Or newspapers.

… _Fuck off!_

===Be Tavros

It's not very easy living next to where Terezi lives. She kinda freaks me out.

I don't really know why, but Karkat is messaging me. He never messages me.

CG: TAVROS, I KNOW THIS IS SUDDEN, BUT I NEED A FAVOR.

AT: fROM ME

CG: YES FROM YOU, WHAT OTHER LONG-HORNED TROLL AM I SPEAKING TO?

AT: ,,,sORRY,

CG: UGH, DON'T APOLOGIZE.

CG: LOOK, I NEED YOU TO HELP ME GET SOMETHING TEREZI TOOK FROM MY HIVE.

CG: CAN YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?

AT: i DONT KNOW, sHE KINDA, SCARES ME SOMETIMES,

AT: i uHH, THINK I JUST SAW HER A WHILE AGO,

AT: iLL HELP

CG: THANKS.

CG: SHE TOOK A BOX FROM MY HIVE LAST NIGHT.

CG: I KIND OF NEED IT BACK.

CG: IT'S FROM MY ANCESTOR AND CRABDAD JUST GAVE IT TO ME LAST WEEK.

CG: I HAVEN'T GONE THROUGH IT YET, AND I'M PRETTY FUCKING SURE THAT TEREZI WILL FIND OUT MY BLOOD COLOR IF SHE LOOKS INSIDE.

AT: oNE QUESTION,

AT: hOW WILL i, eR, gET IT

AT: sHE LIVES IN A TREE,,, aND iM KIND OF IN A WHEELCHAIR,

CG: JUST STALL HER. I'M ACTUALLY GOING INSIDE TO GET IT.

AT: oKAY,

CG: I'M ALREADY OUTSIDE, SO ANYTIME.

Sure enough, he's right outside, waiting for me, like he wasn't sure if I were coming out or not.

I can't turn down a friend in need, so I rolled out onto the front.

"What should I bring?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said. "Just get us there, okay?" He hopped into my jet-propelled wheelchair and said, "I don't have all fucking day!"

I sighed and transferred into the thing, folding up my chair and storing it in the back. It's been a while, and I'm pretty sure Tinkerbull has had a few offspring in it while I was gone. Karkat didn't notice, but I did.

"What's that face for? Come on, let's go!"

"Nothing," I mumbled. We zoomed off to Terezi's territory. My hive looks over the Land of Thought and Flow, so it didn't take long to find the unmistakable tree house in the middle of the forest.

"Drop us off here," Karkat commanded. "Where she can't smell us." This is a bad idea, really. "You roll up to the portal ringer and I'll go inside and get my box."

"What should I say?" I asked.

"Just say you want to flarp or something. I don't really give a fuck what you say. Just get her out of the hive long enough to let me find it. I'll pester you when I'm out." Like a sensible troll, I have no less than five computers on my person, so I just nod.

===Be Karkat

Tavros and I are in position. I give him the signal to sound Terezi's portal ringer. She answers the door and they begin to converse. I grabbed one of her scalemates and swing into her bedroom window. I half expected to land on a scalemate on my way in. Instead I land on a pile of them. Her whole room is knee-deep in these silly things.

I hear raucous laughter outside and shoo away the twinge of envy of Tavros I just felt. He's chatting her up like some sort of bad red romance movie.

Focus, Karkat! You don't have much time! Find the box!

I dig through her room of plush and finally find it next to her cocoon. I knew she had it. I open it and see a bundle of dark gray cloth with something wrapped in it. It resembled a book. I reached into it when I heard more raucous laughter, scaring the living daylights out of me. I snapped my head behind me to make sure no one had discovered me. The laughter is still distant. Good. I let out a breath and closed the box. Nothing's missing, I guess.

I turned to leave the way I came and stopped dead in my tracks.

Terezi was standing there, looking happy as Gamzee after a fresh Faygo. Fucking nastyass soda… I held my breath, clutching my box. She slammed the door shut.

"Now to pester Karkles some more!" she made her way over to her computer, which I was firmly in between it and her. I stepped at the same time as she did, to mask the sound of my footsteps. She may be blind, but she can hear much better than I can.

As I walked, I checked my touch-screen portable computer to make sure it was silenced. It was, thank gog. Tavros had been pestering me for quite a while.

AT: iM RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY,

AT: hELP A BROTHER OUT,

AT: kARKAT, i NEED HELP,,,

AT: sHES GOING UP THE STAIRS!

Well, no fucking _shit,_ Trollock!

She finally made it to her computer without noticing me. She immediately opened up the chat we left off at and started typing. I moved slowly while she typed, pausing when she paused, and so on. I'm going to lose a few sweeps off of my already unknown lifespan if this keeps up. She giggled and pressed the send key.

My portable computer blinked; an indication of a message. What I read blew my cover.

===Be Terezi

I know Karkat is in my room, I can smell his sweet blood for miles. I didn't plan for him to come get the box today, but I'm still glad I planned ahead of time! I made sure to slam my door hard enough for the latch to set in place. It locks the door from the outside, and you can't open it unless you're me. I smiled at my own cunning.

I pretend not to notice him sneaking off to the side while I'm walking to my computer. I opened the chat and cackled a bit. I typed in,

GC: 1 L1CK3D YOUR BOX.

I heard the box drop on the plushies behind me. Gotcha, I thought.

===Be Karkat

Terezi knew more than _anyone_ that I was a germaphobe! Why would she lick my box?!

"Fuck!" I yelled. I clamped my hands to my mouth and dropped the box in the process. Instant regret. She would definitely find me now.

I snatched up the box again, not caring anymore that it has Terezi's mouth goo all over it, and ran to the door. Locked. Locked? Fuck me!

I turned to the window again but I lost my footing on Terezi's cane and she proceeded to tackle me for the rest. Thank gog her floor was covered in… scalemates. Shit! She planned this! I fell flat on my stomach and the box flew out the open window. I heard it hit the ground a few seconds later. Tavros had better not look while I'm gone! Shit will hit the fucking _fan_ if he does!

"Gotcha!" she said, snuggling into my back. Her arms were wrapped around my waist. I could feel her smiling. I considered flipping over, but that would make it more awkward. My face flushed just thinking about it.

Now that I had sufficiently given up, Terezi crawled her way up to my chest, where she hugged me again, nestling herself like a grub. What the hell is she doing?

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask.

"Investigating," she answers. "Your, blood, color!" She tapped my chest, my chin, and my nose with her finger when she said that.

"Whatever your plan is, it's not working!" Falsehood. Major falsehood.

"I object!" She shook her head against my chest like a grub trying to fall asleep.

"No objection! If I say it's not working, it's not working!" More falsehoods. It's working like you won't believe! I don't think my face could hold any more blood. More than enough for her to find out by licking it.

"Let's lick your face!" She leaned in for the kill.

"BLUH!" I shouted, somehow mustering up the strength to shove her off. She flew backward, off-guard, and I escaped out her window, grabbing at the hung scalemates on my way down. I got ahold of a couple and slid down to safety.

Tavros was waiting for me on the jet-propelled chair, my box in his lap.

"Go, go!" I shouted, jumping onto the front. I dared not to look back, for fear that she might have hitched a ride.

When we neared Tavros's hive, he said, "Red blood?"

"How in the living fuck did you know?" I retorted defensively.

"Your face is really flushed," Tavros answered.

"Oh. Well, congratulations, you are the first to know."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"It's kinda weird, you know?"

"Shut up, Tavros." He's more normal than I am, and he can't even walk.

Tavros parked the jet-propelled chair and shoved me out.

"Just go, and take your dumb box!" He threw the box at me and unloaded his normal chair.

What'd I do? "Hey, I was about to say thanks!"

"Oh, uhh, sorry," he stammered. He went inside quickly and Tinkerbull shut the door behind him.

I dusted myself off and set off on foot back to my hive. Maybe I'll look in my box along the way.

===Be Terezi

Oh well. I guess he's not willing to show me. In any case, I smelled it anyway. Shame that the sweet, sweet cherry doesn't match his personality at all. I didn't expect him to push me off like that, though. Ow, my chest hurts. Must be a bruise forming.

===Years in the past

_It's out of my hands now. The deed is done. I just hope that there is no discernment between mine and everyone else's. The Dolorosa told me that if I didn't do this, my visions would never come true. I have never doubted her theories before, but this time, I wasn't sure._

_I was nervous at first. I didn't want to be exposed. I didn't want us to risk our lives for this petty portion of our culture. Who has the time for it when the future is at stake?_

_The last straw was when my disciple insisted she delivered it herself._

"I said no!" I commanded. I hate it when she does this. Besides, the delivery is too much of a risk, especially when it's the female that does it. They're the ones that are most vulnerable after the ritual is completed.

"They don't know my face!" she protested. "Besides, who looks for a Middleblood when they're looking for Lowbloods?" She turned at that, stalking away. She nearly walked into a tree when I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to my chest.

"I won't allow you to go," I murmured.

After a few seconds, she gently pushed me away. She looked up at me with her big, jade eyes and said, "I'll be well on my own." She kissed me on the cheek and left.

I growled under my breath and punched the nearest tree. The Psiioniic passed by at that moment, and swiftly came to my aid.

"Whoa, what happened?" he asked.

"She's," I growled. "So _difficult_!" I managed.

"Who, your matesprit?" he laughed. "What'd she do this time? Was she unsatisfied?" He is teasing me. He nudged me with his elbow.

"She left on her own."

That shut him up. "And you just let her go?"

"As. I. Said," I enunciated. "_Difficult_." I turned on my heel in the opposite direction.

The Psiioniic sighed and followed after me. "If she said anything about not looking for middle-bloods, she has a point."

"I know," I emphasized. "But she's still in the lower spectrum! I can't sit idly by and have her be at risk for me! I'm not worthy. I'm only the messenger for my cause."

"Since I can't attest to her actions, I can only say that we have no choice in the matter," he said. "I believe your visions are truths. Personally, if she's willing to die for the cause, I applaud her. However, since she means that much to you, I can't really approve of it, either."

I felt my eye twitch. "You know, if you hadn't said those last few words, I would have killed you where you stand."

"I'm not worried."

"You never are."

===Be Karkat, back in the present.

I had to sit. My lower limbs were killing me! Besides, the contents of my box are quite inconvenient to open while walking. I mean, it's just a fucking book wrapped in some cloth. I set the box down beside me and opened it. Inside, the cloth and the book, just as I left it.

I took out the cloth and started to unwrap the book. As the package got smaller, the cloth got more intricate. It wasn't a normal piece of cloth. It was a tattered cloak with a hood. I opened it up and out in front of me, and the book landed on the ground with a thud. It was covered in dried blood. Bright red blood. Glad to know I wasn't the only one. Not. Does this make me normal or does this mean my whole genetic hereditary line of ancestors is a fucking freak of nature? I picked up the book and opened it to the first page.

The script was almost completely indiscernible. As I flip through it, it got better little by little. This is going to be a hard read.


End file.
